I woke-up too early this morning, which means I had time to read some emails. The first one I opened was from www,DailyGood.org and they had a poem by Rumi....".Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have buildt against it." Wow! I love that! I believe that love is an "inside job", as we have a sense of self-worth, a loving world-view and the ability to accept others as imperfect, but inherently lovable, that it is then that we "attract" love to us.

  You have been hearing this a lot lately....Happy New Year! So, how are you going to have a happy new year? When you take a look at all the areas of your life, what are you doing to create the happy life you want? If you are not happy. it is hard to have a happy relationship. No one else but you is responsible for your happiness. The good news about that is you can start anytime to begin to move towards happiness, you don't have to wait for anyone else.

   If you find yourself fighting about the same things over and over again, then it is time to call a truce and figure out what is really going one. It is normal for couples to have conflicts on occasion, but constant fighting is not normal or healthy.

     Here are some hints for calling a truce:

   One of the advantages of graduating from coaching school as well as having 25+ years in the business, is that you begin to really understand how and why people change. People usually don't change much when their lives or relationships are going well; they are only motivated to change when things aren't working so well. So, maybe you are reading this blog because you are thinking about making a change.

     It has become popular among my group of friends to pronounce that we don't make resolutions, but then people go on to talk about their goals for the coming year. Well, I'm voting for Relationship Resolutions for the year............want to make a couple (get it...couple), yourself? My resolutions for couples might include one or more of these:

     This time of year many people are thinking about the best gift to give their loved ones. In the true spirit of Christmas, or whatever holiday you celebrate at this time of year, I have a suggestion. What if you gave the gift of listening....really, deeply listening? This gift is good for just about anybody that you truly care about, partner, kids or friends.

    What does deep listening look like you may ask.....here are some suggestions:

     What would happen in your relationship if instead of giving cosumer goods, we began to give the gift of pleasure? Now, I can't tell you exactly what is pleasure for either you or your mate, but I do know that a little pleasure goes a long way. Pleasures do not have to be sexual, although they may be. Here are a few ideas:

     We all have three commodities that we use to make our lives work. They are time, energy and money (some people also have faith). How we use these things determines a great deal or how our life is. Some people have more time, more money or mor energy then others, but we all have some of those things. Like any type of investment, you have to first decided what you hope to gain and how best to invest in order to meet your goals.